Like drops of water in a bucket, eventually the pail will fill. It was a little something here, a little something there until I figured...it's time. Here's a drop...I'm a screenwriter for film and TV, I was honing my craft one day and I picked up a book about writing for TV. I got to a section about writing reality shows and the author made a statement that stuck out. I'm paraphrasing, she said when you are writing for reality shows make sure the subject matters works for the audience you are trying to reach, do your research. You don't want to produce a show that has say, an interracial couple in it to an audience who doesn't want their children EXPOSED to it. When I hear the word "exposed" used in this context, I think of chemicals, hazardous waste or the swine flu, not interracial relationships. I was reluctant to finish the book.
Another drop...it may or may not be well known how black women feel about black men who date other races but what may not be as well known is how the reverse works. As you will find out when you read on, it's exactly the same. One difference is men in general try to pretend they have their emotions in check in regards to black women in interracial relationships whereas women are generally more emotional and don't mind being verbal about it. But when it comes to interracial relationships, get a black man out of view and he'll let you know exactly how he feels, passionately. As I said before and I will repeat, not all of my
experiences are bad, not even the majority of them are, for instance, white girls...super nice when I'm with a white guy for some reason, I mean I know I'm not a threatening looking woman by any means, but I've noticed it. It may just be because we were in upscale restaurants and such but I've been to upscale places before, it was just...different. Now if the white woman knows him, then there may be a little shade coming, but I'll have to delve more into that one another time.So I was out with an Italian-American guy at a nice lounge on 5th Avenue in Manhattan,there was a guy there who resembled the black guy from "Leverage", he was with a whitewoman who had a Nicole Kidman kinda thing going on. Can I tell you he sat across from my date and me and stared almost the whole time? It was too dark inside to fully make out his expression but it was painfully clear where his expression was directed, I thought that was weird. Now when I have these experiences, I don't automatically hit the "trip" button, I'm not that kind of black person. Pardon my immodesty, but I'm used to being stared at by haters and admirers, black men among the latter. But I'm starting to see a side of black men I have never seen before.In fairness, I've had black guys themselves encourage me to be open to other races.I was in class with a wonderful black guy, a family man, with whom I'd had many conversations. He told me that he encourages his many sisters (biological not "power to
the people" sisters) to be open to dating men from other races, as many of them were still single and longing to be married and start a family. My cousin remarked to me once when I was single, "Black dudes don't seem to have it together", he was not prompted by me in any way. It seemed as if it was a confession of sorts, evidenced by the disappointed sigh that followed his statement. And this is nothing new, President Obama has said it, Bill Cosby has said it, Steve Harvey has said it, Atty.General Ron Holder has said it,
CNN has said it, BET has said it. The question is, what are we going to do about it? Of course this is not to vilify all black men, no one can speak to all of anyone about anything. But it seems, it's too many black men that are this way and not enough of them that aren't, that's a problem. Now let me say boldly and with conviction, I make no apologies for my man, I love my man and would not take anyone for him.
No one had to push me toward him, he is everything I wanted and more. Yes I see that he is white and I love that. I love his differences and I love his similarities. I celebrate him, I love him. And no unfamiliar or familiar man will ever make me feel guilty, bad or ashamed about that.
What color is love? Whatever color you want it to be. What do you think?